Fixing Relationships After a Domestic Violence Incident

By San Diego Attorney on June 20, 2023

Domestic violence is a sensitive topic, and after an incident, it might seem impossible to keep the relationship intact. Both parties may want to heal and reconcile, but the road toward rebuilding trust is a long one paved with the need for change. If you are trying to repair your relationship after a domestic violence incident, it is not impossible, but it will take a lot of work and require honest effort.

Recognizing the Importance of Accountability

The first step toward healing yourself, your partner, and the overall strength of your relationship is accepting responsibility for your actions. Accepting responsibility is often difficult because it means having to acknowledge the harm you caused and the direct impact it had on your relationship. If you ever hope to move forward, however, it is a necessary step in this process.

It is also important to understand that domestic violence is often a pattern of behavior. You may want to change in the immediate aftermath, but the changes may be short-lived. That is why it is crucial to seek professional help. Your partner should have their own therapist as well.

Seeking Professional Support: Individual Counseling and Therapy

Although couples therapy could help, it is important that both you and your partner have individual counseling. A therapist could help you understand why you became violent and help you develop the tools and strategies you need to manage your anger. These are some additional benefits of seeking professional support as you begin to heal your relationship:

• Your therapist could observe your progress and give you honest feedback, even when it may be difficult to hear
• Your therapist could advise you on how to implement the new behaviors and coping mechanisms learned in treatment
• Your therapist could help you develop strategies for accountability

When it comes to victims of domestic violence, there are also many resources for counseling.

Understanding the Impact of Domestic Violence on Survivors

Domestic violence often has a substantial impact on survivors on both a psychological and physical level. It could change the way they think and how they view and engage the world around them. Beyond the physical injuries and pain, domestic violence could result in the following:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): People who endure traumatic events may have trouble adjusting and coping with what happened. As a result, they may suffer from nightmares, flashbacks, and severe anxiety.
• Depression: It is not uncommon for domestic violence survivors to feel depressed. They may exhibit feelings of hopelessness, changes in weight, changes in appetite, and loss of energy.
• Dissociation: As a result of their experiences, domestic violence survivors may not be able to focus on their day-to-day routines due to chronic dissociation.

Given the profound impact domestic violence could have on your partner, it is important to meet them with empathy and understand their concerns and needs.

Rebuilding Trust with Your Partner

It is possible to rebuild trust and heal your relationship, but it will take more than the promise of change. These are some tips that could help you on your path toward reconciliation:

• Discuss new boundaries and ground rules. Doing so could help provide the right processes for de-escalating a heated situation.
• Learn how to have healthy conflict. No one agrees with their partner all the time, so accept that there will be disagreements and find productive ways to achieve resolutions.
• Engage in preventative maintenance by checking in with each other. You could also do this with your therapist.

Talk to a Compassionate Domestic Violence Lawyer in San Diego

Seeking professional help after a domestic violence incident is crucial, and at jD Law Criminal Defense Attorneys, we can provide the assistance you need. Our San Diego domestic violence attorneys frequently handle these legal matters and could connect you with the appropriate resources. Call us today at (760) 630-2000 to schedule a consultation.